Female colleagues – are you guilty of saying these five things in your everyday speech? Then stop!
We’re sounding less confident and self-sabotaging, according to this article. I’m guilty of some of these and pledge to do better!
Just
(“I just want to check in and see…,” I’m just wondering…”)
Inserting ‘just’ into sentences diminishes what we are saying and is a way of showing that we feel awkward or are apologising for our communication.
Actually
(“I actually think…” “I actually have a question…”)
Actually makes it sound as if you are surprised that you have a question or that you disagree.
Sorry, but/to/if…
(“Sorry, but can I just ask you…,” “Sorry to bother you…”)
Reflexive ‘sorrys’ are not the same as genuine apologies – they denote an unconscious apology for taking up space, for having something to say or for asking questions.
Does that make sense?
(“So, I’d like to see the report and have a meeting next week when I have digested it more fully – does that make sense?”)
Asking if what you have said just makes sense is a speech pattern that casts doubt in the listener that you actually know what you’ve said makes sense.
A little bit / A few
(“I’d like to take a few moments of your time”)
Minimising what you want to contribute or what you would like from another person plays into an idea that you do not value your worth, time, or contributions.
Are you guilty of these too? Let’s all drop the self-sabotage!
Here’s a link to the original article I spotted this list in: